6 Types of Starbucks People That Annoy Me

I regularly frequent Starbucks establishments (I know, I should support independent coffee shops but there is a lack of those in Hawaii) and as a scientist by trade I am very observant. I’ve compiled a list of 6 different types of people that I’ve observed at Starbucks that annoy me. If I’m not there writing then I’m there either reading a book or simply enjoying a cup of coffee. These 6 types (with the exception of #4, he made the list because he defies logic) make it very difficult to do those aforementioned things.

I’m sure there are more Starbucks Types. Which ones have you noticed and have been annoyed by? Comment below and let me know!

1. The one that steals electricity.

Apparently some Starbucks patrons think that buying a small cup of coffee provides them with unlimited access to free electricity. I’ve seen these types before and I always shake my head when I do. These are the people that use up every single electrical outlet within their vicinity to charge anything from their laptops to their cell phones to their portable vibrators. Okay, maybe not the vibrators. I kid you not when I say that I’ve actually seen people come to Starbucks prepared with extension cords and surge protectors! WTF! Surge protectors! Hint: Charge your batteries beforehand. If your laptop battery dies then that’s a signal that it’s time to go home.

2. The one that brings the bible study group.

God, the last thing I need is a group of preachers while I try to caffeinate myself! Hint: Stay away, please!

3. The one that doesn’t buy anything.

These bastards are the worst. They come to Starbucks and leech the seats and tables from actual paying customers. They come armed with their massive beverage jugs and claim a seat without even making a purchase. Annoying! Hint: Buy something.

4. The one that’s off duty.

If I worked at a Starbucks, trust me, the last place that I would want to spend my free time would be at a, you guessed it, Starbucks! These types aren’t annoying like the rest on this list but somehow they defy human logic. Hint: Find a hobby that requires you to be at least fifty feet from a your place of employment.

5. The one that brings their kid(s).

It’s a coffee shop, leave you’re damn kids at home. Seriously. I’m here to enjoy my cup of coffee and not be annoyed by little kids running around screaming all the while throwing their Hot Wheels at each other. Minus ten points to parents that think a frappuccino is a suitable drink for a 5-year-old. Hint: go to the park!

6. The one that turns from study group to comedy troop.

This might be the most annoying of all Starbucks patrons. They come in large group of 5-7 with the intention of getting their study on. Problem is, after 5 minutes of focused studying, someone sparks up a conversation the lasts the duration of the study session, laughs and giggles included. They annoy the people who are simply there to enjoy a cuppa Joe or those who are actually trying to get work done. Hint: if you plan to study at Starbucks, come alone or as a pair at most.

Photo courtesy of Flickr user chrispmphillips.